Terribly Twisted's Truly Terrific Television

Happy Men

Ladies and Gentlemen, my first short story is available to download from Smashwords and is absolutely free! Please please download it and have a read, would love to hear what you think! Link below the picture.



Newborn Penguins Named After Doctor Who Characters Are Out-Of-This-World Cute (PICTURES)

This adorable newborn baby Humboldt penguin born at Chester Zoo has been named after the timelord himself, Doctor Who.

Keepers at the Chester Zoo have named all this year’s babies after famous characters from the show, in celebration of its 50th anniversary this year.

My local zoo also has a love of Doctor Who

A Windmill and a Duffle coat: The ten best Jonathan Creek episodes


Don’t you just love a murder mystery? There is something deeply satisfying about a murder where nearly everybody has a motive only to find out the murderer is the one person without a motive and a cast iron alibi. From Agatha Christie onwards the world has been in love with the ‘whodunit’.

But of course we all know really that these mysteries are really nothing like real life, Poirot never really solved a murder of a young girl who had been brutally raped and murdered, Miss Marple never discovered a murderer who had eaten part of their victims. I think you could look at these things in two ways; either they represent a need for someone clever to come along and solve all our problems, or they confirm that there is nothing better then a puzzle. Perhaps it’s both, but for me a murder mystery is just pure escapism. I have absolutely no experience in solving murders (hell I cheat at Professor Layton) but I’m guessing that nine times out of ten the murderer is always the person who you expect and most murders are probably not exactly planned to the finest detail and are really spur-of-the-moment type things, I don’t know.


Personally I love finding a puzzle, getting really frustrated with it and then finding out the answer, only to get angry at myself for not thinking it before I was told. But as I said before there is something deeply satisfying with the solution, some would say the thrill is in the chase and never the capture, not so with me I’m afraid. I love the capture, then sitting down and having a biscuit.

Growing up of course I wasn’t really interested in murder mysteries, anything that wasn’t a Power Ranger or covered in sugar paid no real significance in my life. Then in 1997, a rather unique murder mystery show appeared on the BBC, something that would have me on the edge of my seat and firmly cement the love of a ‘whodunit’ in my mind.

Jonathan Creek centres around a young man who lives in a windmill and before you think that sounds an awful lot like Trumpton then bare with me because there’s more. Jonathan Creek is the creative consultant to a magician and spends his life creating ways to fool an audience. A chance meeting with an investigative journalist Maddie and the pair are thrown into a murder mystery. Maddie seeing the potential of a man who knows how to work out a puzzle, forces Creek to solve the case. Jonathan’s reluctance and Maddie’s journalist nature it the key to the series, plus the sexual chemistry between the two which is standard with a boy and girl lead.

The series was created by David Renwick who previously had written the sitcom One Foot in the Grave, Jonathan and Maddie were played by comedian Alan Davies and sitcom actress Caroline Quentin. The comedy pedigree of the cast and writer obviously bled into the show and Jonathan Creek, despite it’s rather gothic theme and serious subject matter, has always been seen as a comedy-drama, personally I’m unsure about if this was intentional, but without the comedy I don’t think the show would have been as successful.

But I digress. There have been twenty-eight episodes of Jonathan Creek between 1997-2010 and these are my favourites. I won’t be giving you any answers to the mysteries, but like any good puzzle, I’ll give you a hint.

10. The Grinning Man


At the end of the third series Caroline Quentin left and was replaced by Julia Sawalha who stayed for a series and a special, however she declined to return after this, maybe something to do with the fact that she and Alan Davies had dated and broken up. Sawalha’s character of Carla was replaced with Joey Ross, a younger and more, well normal character then the other two.

Jonathan Creek had been off the air a while when this aired in 2008 and centres about a mysterious room in an old country house called Metropolis. People are dared to stay the night in the room however there is no trace of them come morning. Only there clothes are found on the floor. As usual with Jonathan Creek, there is perfectly plausible explanation, but a rather sinister one. Metropolis holds many secrets and true to a good murder mystery, there is more then one mystery at the centre of this. Not to mention the reason why a painting of a ‘The Grinning Man’ is hung locked away in that room. 

This episode was a good introduction to the new ‘companion’ and Sheridan Smith who plays Joey is actually far more likeable then Julia Sawalha’s character. The whole thing is ridiculous and highly implausible, but very clever and will have you shouting ‘why the hell didn’t I think of that!?’ No? Just me then. 

Hint: The clothes on the floor are significant

9. The Tailor’s Dummy


This episode from series 4 is rather clever and the solution is actually more sinister and cold-blooded then the very lighthearted beginning would suggest. 

Read More

Anonymous said: slightly random, but do you know karen trinder?



Ya take a hot dog, stuff it with some jack cheese, roll it in a pizza, WE got Cheesy Blasters!


Ya take a hot dog, stuff it with some jack cheese, roll it in a pizza, WE got Cheesy Blasters!

AND THE WINNER IS: Who exactly should vote for awards?


It’s award season! I’m not really sure how to take this news, I’m not a TV insider, I’m just a viewer. At my most cynical I could say it’s just a way for the entertainment industry to pat itself on the back and go ‘weren’t we marvellous’. But then of course the ‘Pride of Britain Awards’, which is the opposite was a rather cheesy affair. I guess I have a dislike for award ceremonies in general, although if I’m honest this may be jealousy. If I ever won an award I might think differently. The only award I’m ever qualified for would be the Nurse of the Year Awards and I’m unlikely to ever get a nomination as a patient one told me that my only worth in life was as an organ donor.

Last night saw the annual ceremony that is the National Television Awards. The NTAs are something of a rarity among awards as the winners are decided by the public. Sounds great, why let some industry toff decide what’s best and let the people who actually watch then decide! The trouble is, well let me show you;

Factual Entertainment
Paul O’Grady: For The Love of Dogs
The Apprentice
The Great British Bake Off
Top Gear

WINNER- Paul O’Grady: For The Love of Dogs

Doctor Who
Downton Abbey

WINNER- Downton Abbey

Now I used to love Downton Abbey, in fact the first series was great, however the second and third were rather a let down. Not that it’s still bad, but is it better then Doctor Who, Merlin and Sherlock? The answer has to be NO! Now you can argue that Doctor Who and Merlin have had their ups and downs but Sherlock

Read More

The Revenge of Terribly Twisted: A belated sequel

Oh no, I’ve become too old, I’ve been expelled by the council of Time Lords, I’ve got radiation poisoning, I’ve fallen from a pylon, I’ve been exposed to some spectrox, my TARDIS is being attacked by the Rani, some surgeons botched my operation, the Time Wars got the better of me, I’ve absorbed the time vortex and Bernard Cribbins has knocked three times, I’m REGENERATING!

Almost a year later I’m rebooting, or is this a reimagining, perhaps a sequel? To paraphrase Alex Drake from Ashes to Ashes, ‘either way I’ve got to figure out why I’m here and get home to my daughter’ (I don’t have a daughter, unless you count the plush Pikachu I got for Christmas).

So we didn’t die in 2012, the Mayans were wrong, either that or they’re pissing themselves in Valhalla. So I better start this up again. In fact there has been some pretty good TV in the past last months, Amy and Rory left the Doctor in Doctor Who (still not 100% sure why) and he was attacked by evil Snowmen in the Christmas special (with the help of a lesbian lizard woman). The third series of Miranda is almost finished (this will probably be the last series) and it’s probably the funniest thing on TV. The Comic Relief Bake Off is also showing this week, the Paul Hollywood stencil had a legion of middle aged women Googling just that on Monday night. 

Anyway it’s time to put finger to keyboard once again, as soon as I make sure I’ve got the right amount of legs and fingers (regenerations can be tricky).


Horrible Histories for April Fools day.

You’ve Been Artois’d!

April Fools!

(Source: ode-on-a-grecian-butt, via fuckyeahmathewbaynton)


Karen on a trampoline

from Doctor Who Confidential

I will miss Doctor Who Confidential because it allowed us to see things like this.